Boarding the Virgin flight to Miami I was concerned about my connection time but as it was the first time I had booked with a travel agent, I thought “they know best”. How wrong I was. I only had 1 hour 30 minutes between flights so I asked the cabin crew to upgrade me to First Class for the last half hour of my flight so I could get off as quick as possible. The Virgin staff were great and obliged.
My gate at Miami International was a 20 minute walk to immigration… easy, I have run a marathon! I sprinted and bashed that out in 4 minutes. Sweating and stressed, how I got through US immigration is a mystery. I must have looked like a poster child for international drug smuggling. Then the baggage carousel; obviously my bag was the last one off but I grab it and run to the check in desk… “Computer says no”.
Deflated and annoyed at being given a flight by STA Travel that even Bolt couldn’t make, I check in to a dodgy motel near Miami airport and put myself on a standby flight at 1pm the next day. I arrive at the motel which I’m sure was used as a location in Breaking Bad. I’m starving it’s midnight UK time so I ask the woman at reception if there is somewhere to eat. She passes me a Domino’s pizza flyer and says it’s that; McDonald’s two blocks away or a sports bar.
So what do I do, eat butt hole in a seeded bun or try the sports bar? Tom’s NFL bar it is. Three blocks later I’m in a bar with more tv screens than women, but it’s nice. The staff are friendly and the locals are already on the tequila shots. Brent is at the bar supping his bottle of beer telling me he’s just passing through on his motorbike; seven beers later after some mildly political conversation he has to leave because, “he’s driving”!
I shuffle up to Herb who said he has been pistol training people at a local shooting range and we chat about his military diving and experiences in Kabul, he’s a very interesting guy. I order a taco, down a couple of local IPAs and I’m ready for bed.
Morning! 4am and jet lag drags me up and to the motel gym. The treadmill has two settings, running to connect your flight fast or a slow stroll. I last about half an hour and then head for breakfast.
Breakfast in a Miami motel is an experience – a machine dispensed three flavours of batter into a plastic cup, you then pour this into a rotating waffle iron. Top with a few options of different coloured fruit gloop. I opt for a banana, the first of many during my day.

Standby – get there early I think, be really nice to the staff blah blah that might help my case. Three hours later the gate is about to close, I’m by the door and I can see the plane, the lady at the desk tells me there are five people left to board so things are looking up. With three minutes to go passengers slowly make their way down the escalator, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… and the flight is full.
Now what?? I ask the lady what I should do, stand by for the 5pm flight is her response. I ask if there are any seats or if she can suggest another option:
American Airlines “no Ma’am the 5pm is full”
Me “What are my chances getting on the next flight?”
AA “I can’t say ma’am”
Me “What should I do”
AA “No ma’am”
Me “That was an open question”
AA “I can’t help Ma’am”
Ok before I start raging and get a free night in Miami courtesy of the MPD I call the lovely UK travel agent who put me in this mess. Surely STA Travel will help, they caused this drama plus they deal with students who must miss flights all the time, they have to be more help than this American Airlines representative stuck on repeat.
Oh no no no we are back to.. Computer says no! Thanks For nothing Jeni from STA, you div.
Her solution was… ready for it…
1. Pay myself for another night in the death motel
2. Pay for a flight to Nassau
3. Wait 10 hours in Nassau for a connecting flight to Freeport.
4. Pay again for a return flight back to Miami because you can’t just use the return if you didn’t take the first flight.
I know from being a human being that the Bahamas is really close to Miami so I ask Jeni if she can find out about a boat from Fort Lauderdale..
Jeni “We don’t book boats”
Me “I know but I’m stuck in Miami and the free airport WiFi locks me out every 40 minutes, seeing as your behind a desk in Canterbury do you reckon you can have a look for me”
Jeni “We don’t book boats”
Me: “I know you don’t book boats but I’m stuck her on my own I don’t know what to do”
Jeni “We only book flights not boats”
You can only imagine the words going through my head right now. Now I’m in tears, blubbing in the middle of Miami airport! Stop crying, that’s not going to help you is it.
I know, call Shanthi. She’s good in a crisis! Straight away, Shanthi has Emily from Bahamas ferries on the phone, $140 dollars and I can be on a ferry from Fort Lauderdale tomorrow morning, a taxi can get me there in about an hour. The cut off for the ferry booking is 4pm and the next standby flight is 5:30pm. Book it I say, I would rather waste the money than wait in Miami until Thursday which is when the next confirmed space on a flight according to the unhelpful bint at American Airlines and the lovely “computer says no” from STA travel.
Then just before Shanthi hits send for the payment a guardian angel from global travel calls me, (after me repeatedly calling the 24/7 emergency line throughout the day also asking for help), we have you a confirmed seat on the 5:30 to Freeport as someone missed their connection. Book it I say and start jumping up and down like a lunatic. How I didn’t get stopped by security really is a mystery!
YES YES YES! Good bye American Airlines lady that I want to beat with her gate closed sign, good bye Jeni from STA, you useless keyboard tapping troll.
Changes and dramas add to the adventure of travel and that’s why I love it but this experience made me realise how great my business is and how customer focused my team are. If someone was clearly distressed we wouldn’t stop until they were ok. Not everyone is the same, hey?

So that’s the first chapter of the book written! Great read.
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